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An odd kind of thought

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. nerak47
    nerak47 avatar
    48 posts
    23 Jan 2018
    08 Feb 2018
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    Hi everyone,
    I am of day 3 of non smoking, so still super new (at least new to something compared to being old at a lot lol). Anyways, I was sitting at work today and as I sat there, and thought, a random thought..."I don't look any different as a non smoker!" Which is also kind of ironic because - I would also be at work, either coming in or going out for a smoke, and I'd think ..."this is what being a non smoker looks!"  Does that make sense? 
    For so many yrs I was known as a smoker - that became part of identity. I'm like a kid discovering life away from parents for the first time...surprised I don't 'look' as different as I feel. I'm almost confused because the 2 [look & feel] don't match. I'm mostly good without smoking, until I have an identity crisis yet, but getting used to new identity I guess.
    Feeling a little silly
  2. treepeo
    treepeo avatar
    676 posts
    29 Nov 2017
    09 Feb 2018
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    Hi neerak47,

    I can relate to what you are saying.  I, too, was known as a smoker.  That was who I was for my whole life.  At work, it even helped to forge my friendships, because of course, I became friends with all of the other smokers at work.  And it never really dawned on me that someday I would quit.

    But ultimately I did quit.  A feeling just came over me that it was my time to quit, and I did.  But it definitely took some getting used to.  Even today, being a non-smoker for about 13 months, I still sometimes say to myself, "Oh yeah, I am a non-smoker", which can still feel a bit weird for me. 

    This addiction invades every aspect of our lives, which is why it is so difficult to quit.  The quitting process is very complex, because not only do you deal with physical cravings, but you deal with emotional and psychological issues as well.  And part of that is redefining who you are and what you are about.  Who knew there would be so much involved when trying to quit smoking?  Too much.

    Anyways, congratulations on your 3 days smoke free.  Keep the quit!
  3. lillian, quit coach
    lillian, quit coach avatar
    175 posts
    28 Nov 2017
    09 Feb 2018
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    Hey nerak47 and treepeo,

    It feels like a weird thought doesn't it? But as treepeo has experienced it, nerak, it isn't really weird and is quite common. When you stop and think about it, you were a smoker for many years, identified yourself as such and therefore different than non-smokers... for years you were viewing it in that way. Now, three days in, you still feel the same but just not smoking. Your perspective is changing and that is challenging that old belief.

    This is actually kind of freeing in its own way, you aren't identified by a cigarette. At the same time it is complicated because it can feel alien not to be following your routine.

    Very complex it is but at the same time, quite reasonable when you look it. 

    Congratulations on quitting, be proud and come on here to be silly anytime! We get it!

  4. Try Again
    Try Again avatar
    14 posts
    08 Feb 2018
    12 Feb 2018 in reply to nerak47
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    I know how you feel when identifying or being identified. Thinking about myself as non smoker was like trying to remember how not being able to read was like. Smoki g was so deeply ingrained into my identity. Thing is, now I've been 6 days without and I can still read. Let's keep going.
4 posts, 0 answered