09 Dec 2021
13 Jan 2022
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This is a tricky one for sure. When we are smoking we think that it relaxes us and helps with our mood but in reality... its the exact reverse. We are breathing in so many toxins and poisons that are doing us so much harm... carbon monoxide can kill us. As smokers we use the habit as a means to help us relax and deal with stuff but in fact its not helping at all and making the problems worse cos now we've introduced all those toxins to our bodies.
I was very depressed all last year. Was unhappy where I was living, hated my job, didnt really have many friends to talk to, hated the drive to and from work stuck in traffic, lived for the weekends but then at the weekends I would barely get out of bed. Then I was smoking a pack a day at least as well as downing two bottles of wine a night... then throw in the lockdowns over covid 19 and u can begin to imagine how low I was.
I would still be in that rut if I hadnt got my act together and did something about it. The first to change was where i was living. I was living alone and had to deal with shouting and roaring neighbours, kids kicking a ball off my wall and roof, bird crap on my car everyday and just a rough area in general. I moved into a house only a 10 minute walk from work and Im renting a room from the owners who liuve in the house as well - so I have company. That meant I no longer wanted to drink so much and make them think I had a problem. Second big thing I did was change the job. Applied for two and got the second one. There was nothing wrong with my old job but i was bored and wasnt getting anything from it. This new one challenges me and im learning new things everyday and the people i work with are nice. I was alone in my last one whereas now im part of a team.
So that was two big things i changed which by the domino effect got rid of the traffic commute to and from work and the two bottles of wine a night habit i had. The next big change was the smoking. I was sick and tired of living from pay cheque to pay cheque and not having any money to do anything. I just got it into my head one day to just stop and see how I would go... and guess what... 38 days in now and Im like a new man. It was very uncomfortable at the start and I was close to giving in a few times but as the days and weeks move on, im finding i have not a single inclination to buy another pack or even ask for one. Now Im feeling a lot better and Ive made new friends along the way by accident.... and I joined this forum to discuss what Im going through.
Ive noticed so many changes in myself. Im more positive about life; at weekends now I try have a plan to do stuff and get out and meet my new friends and have a laugh... not be cooked up in my room depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I do miss smoking as i was smoking a lot and had so many triggers.... but I am so greatful for the positive changes that have happened in these past few months that have been a life line really.
I do take medication for anxiety and im looking forward to telling my psychiatrist all about my quit when i see him for the first time since i quit next week. I probably will be able to lower the dose cos my head is in a whole new space... but ill wait for direction on that one.
so in summary.... smoking really is not your friend. In fact I think smoking causes depression and then the anxiety comes from the need for a fix that can fast get out of control.. like any drug.
So maybe have a good think about your life and what is causing your anxiety and then maybe see if you can try change anything.. then commit to your quit, develop some new healthier habits and see what happens.
Good on you for reaching out. Mental health is a very difficu;t topic to discuss. but so important to not ignore.