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1. keekz

   

   14 posts
   Registered:
   06 Nov 2019
   08 Nov 2019

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   Hi there...So just a bit of information for those who are new and trying to get the support...I have been frustrated with this site as I had come here looking for help and first off, it takes a day or so to get actually registered. The registration was actually down when I wanted to have access. Then you have to wait for an activation code...which also took another day or two. I have quit completely cold turkey on Oct 31st and looked for support online only to find it took me a few days to have my account processed. I could have easily taken up smoking again but thankfully I have the will power to hold off. 
   Reading post after post, I congratulate each and every one of you on your success. I also read over and over about how many people fail and get back on the horse. Congrats to you all as well. 
   I will personally say, that after smoking for 30 years, I honestly don't have the same effect that most people are having. I am completely fine (so to speak lol ) I am not really having cravings, not having flu like symptoms, it seems to be a mental thing, and when my mind goes there, distractions are a MAJOR help. Water, walk, candy, gum and breathing in the nastyness of an ashtray. It helps lol. 
   All rants aside, I just want to celebrate everyone here on their mission and all the coaches on their continued support for us all. It's a long road and we can all get through it if you put your mind to it. 
   Cheers to all. 
   
2. ocean

   

   286 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   08 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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   Congratulations, Keekz!  You are finally here and you survived some unexpectedness.  I'm glad that it's easier than you anticipated.  My advice is to run with it and not slip up, as some quits are easier than others, just my perspective after stopping and starting many times.  Keep up that positive mindset!
3. renee, quitcoach

   

   117 posts
   Registered:
   16 Jul 2018
   09 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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   Hello Keekz,
   
   A very warm welcome from the online community and congratulations on quitting smoking since October 31!
   
    I also want to apologize for the frustration you experienced registering with this site. I know how frustrating that can be especially when you are under the added pressure of quitting smoking. We were having some issues with the registration page, but I'm happy to see they seemed to have been resolved. My apologies once again.
   
   Please visit the site often and know we are all here rooting for you!
   
   Renee
   

   Last modified on 09 Nov 2019 14:30 by renee, quitcoach
4. keekz

   

   14 posts
   Registered:
   06 Nov 2019
   11 Nov 2019

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   Just had a mini meltdown at work and my eyes swelled up with tears for absolutely no reason...Has this every happened to anyone? Thankfully , I have support at work and there are people who have quit smoking who are guiding me through this. Perhaps this was my mind telling me at that exact moment "no you can't have a cigarette" and came overwhelmed with anxiety and started to cry? Not sure, but emotions were high...Will this happen often? 
5. justfortoday

   

   168 posts
   Registered:
   12 Aug 2019
   11 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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   Hey keekz,
   
   In short, yes. I've never been one to cry that easily, but in those first few weeks of quitting, I found I would just start crying out of nowhere!
   
   We all experience quitting smoking differently, so as far as I'm concerned there are no rules as to how we respond.
   
   You had mentioned in an earlier post that you were completely fine, and not really feeling the effects of withdrawal. My only caution would be is expect the unexpected, especially at this point in your quit.
   
   You are doing amazing and after about three to four weeks it becomes far more manageable.
   
   Hope you have a good evening.
6. keekz

   

   14 posts
   Registered:
   06 Nov 2019
   12 Nov 2019 in reply to justfortoday

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   Thank you so much justfortoday for replying to me. I am doing one step at a time, I'm assuming as are you. Expect the unexpected as in, perhaps some time down the road the effects will come out of nowhere??? *crosses fingers it doesn't happen*
   But thank you for your support...It's very much appreciated. I hope you are doing just as well.
   
   
7. treepeo

   

   832 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   12 Nov 2019

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   Hi keekz,
   
   So glad to hear you are quitting smoking.  It is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
   
   You may go through a range of emotions, and all are completely normal.  They are part and parcel of withdrawal.  But something like crying is actually a good thing in a way, because it helps to relieve tension.  And it is awesome that you have friends at work who are supporting you.  That is so important.  Don't be afraid to lean on them.  I am sure they will do everything they can to help you remain smoke free.
   
   You have now been smoke free for 12 days.  That is terrific!  Keep it up.  You deserve to live a smoke free life.
8. keekz

   

   14 posts
   Registered:
   06 Nov 2019
   13 Nov 2019 in reply to treepeo

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   Thank you for your reply and support, Treepeo. And of course , Ocean and Renee.It's truly appreciated!!!

   Last modified on 13 Nov 2019 12:08 by keekz
9. keekz

   

   14 posts
   Registered:
   06 Nov 2019
   13 Nov 2019

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   The real reason I'm here....is because my dentist found two white patches in my cheeks that 'could turn to cancer' if I continued to smoke. That appointment was Oct 31. 1 pm was my last cigarette. I feel ok. I don't feel like I'm craving. I feel more of it's mental. Like, I want a cigarette just to have one. I like feeling the smoke go into my lungs. I like the inhaling part. I liked exhaling as well. That poison just was a good feeling to me. Again, it's a completely mental aspect to it. I believe writing my thoughts and feelings down to this support group is like an online journal to me and replies help immensely.  So again, to all , a big thank you and please for those who are struggling but getting by...keep it up! You are worth it!
   Cheers! 
10. justfortoday

    

    168 posts
    Registered:
    12 Aug 2019
    13 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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    Hey keekz,
    
    Wow, that is scary news from your dentist, and thank God you can do something about it. YOU are doing something about it!
    
    I think we underestimate the emotional dependency we have on smoking. I know I did. My dependency had me believing how much I loved smoking ... all the same things you talk about. I'm over two months smoke free, and I although I know smoking will never be an option again for me, I still hear that little voice telling me how much I miss smoking.
    
    But the voice is very quiet now, and I can easily ignore it. With each day I don't smoke, I'm more empowered to face the next.
    
    I'm stronger now than I've ever been ... on so many levels. The rewards just get better and better.
    
    You are doing amazing and the same rewards are waiting for you!
    
    
    
    
11. treepeo

    

    832 posts
    Registered:
    29 Nov 2017
    13 Nov 2019

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    Hi keekz,
    
    I can relate to your dentist story.
    
    My dentist saw white spots at the back of my throat.  I had to go and get a biopsy done.  Trust me, that was no fun.  It turns out that they were precancerous spots.  Even though that scared the heck out of me, I continued to smoke.  But I was determined to quit that upcoming Christmas.  And I did.  That was almost three years ago.
    
    Sometimes we need a wake up call.  I got mine, and you got yours.  Stay strong, keekz.  I always say, a little bit of pain for a lifetime of gain.
    
12. keekz

    

    14 posts
    Registered:
    06 Nov 2019
    14 Nov 2019 in reply to treepeo

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    Question Treepeo,
    
    What was the time span of when you found out, until that Christmas you quit? Were you smoking for a good full year ? Half a year? A month or two before you decided enough was enough?
    My brain is telling me that if you could smoke a bit longer lol...but no. I'm on 2 weeks today. If I can make it this far...I can continue my journey, smoke free. (The little voice is pretty quiet too *wink* )
    
    Thank you both again for your replies. It's encouraging to come and see new posts and stories. *hugs*
13. treepeo

    

    832 posts
    Registered:
    29 Nov 2017
    14 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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    To be honest, keekz, I can't remember the time frame.  And the only reason I waited was because I smoked for over 43 years, and I wanted to quit while I was on vacation.  I had no idea how I would react.  And I was going to take two weeks off over Christmas.  The irony was that I spent Christmas with two of my sisters, who both smoke.  So I knew I couldn't quit until after our Christmas get together.  I then tried to quit, and only made it to 7:00 p.m. that night.  I had to regroup, and two days later I tried again, and that was it.  But it was only four days before I had to go back to work.  Not ideal, but hey.  I now realize that there is probably no "ideal" time to quit.  You just have to do it, period.
    
    I admire you for heeding your wake up call like you did.  Every day after that biopsy, I worried like mad that I was going to face throat cancer, but still I smoked.  It just goes to show how powerful an addiction smoking is.  Kinda sad when you think about it.
14. keekz

    

    14 posts
    Registered:
    06 Nov 2019
    15 Nov 2019 in reply to treepeo

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    My biopsy is scheduled for Jan. So I have at least 2 months of preparation and hopefully some kind of miracle healing time for the white patch on either cheek to diminish ? (wishful thinking)
    It clearly is a wake up call. I feel much better today. No mini meltdowns, no cravings, perhaps I can celebrate my two week mark with all the money I've saved!
    
    Thanks again for all of the support. It is so much appreciated.
15. keekz

    

    14 posts
    Registered:
    06 Nov 2019
    18 Nov 2019

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    So I caved over the weekend , I'd say due to stress. I had 3 on Saturday night, 1 on Sunday and 1 today. I bought a pack and am keeping it in my glove box in the car. I'm finding it harder to stay away from them now then before. I bought a pack Saturday night but then gave them away. I bought another pack this morning. I've read up online that having one a day is just as bad as having 20 a day. But again, I had a huge craving this morning and caved. The rest of the day , I'm pretty sure I can go without ...but I feel I need that pack in my car for emergencies. HELP!!!
16. atp

    

    501 posts
    Registered:
    31 Dec 2018
    18 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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    keekz,
    
    So you slipped, no big deal. The big deal is you are still wanting to quit and are asking for help!!!!! I wish I had been that strong on some of my earlier quit attempts!
    
    Problem is that the nicotine is not our friend. 1 or 20, it is never enough, but more than enough to keep us addicted. 
    
    I'm trying to quit drinking now - actually trying to lose weight and those darn fitness apps really point out how many calories a beer has.... Never considered myself and alcoholic.  1-3 beers most days after work and at dinner. Maybe a few more on the weekends. But damn is it hard to give up those few beers. I went a couple weeks without (I've lost 6lbs in 3 weeks!) and then this weekend i had a few beers at a Christmas Market. Point is that it happens. We reset, learn from our mistakes and carry on.
    
    So I'm not gonna drink, and you're not gonna smoke. Easy to say, harder to do. But you know what, we are both motivated and I know we are both going to double down and do it. 
    
    Toss out the pack. NOW. Toss out the matches, lighters, etc. OK. Back to withdrawal and continuing with our quit. 
    
    You know I found after I quit smoking that I actually deal with stress better. Yeah, for some reason I don't stand there wasting time smoking and running through all the bad stuff in my mind. I just deal with things now. 
    
    
    

    Last modified on 18 Nov 2019 10:13 by atp
17. keekz

    

    14 posts
    Registered:
    06 Nov 2019
    18 Nov 2019 in reply to atp

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    ATP,
    
    Congrats on the 6 pound loss! I lost 30 pounds on Keto last year and kept it off until a few months ago...But I swear if you cut out bread, rice, pasta, potatoes (basically anything white with starch) it helps...immensely. But keep up the good work. Yes, we do slip. It can happen. I thought I was stronger than that to let that happen. But since it has, I'm finding it harder to not crave. And deal. I'm usually pretty good with dealing. I have to tell myself that even just one won't do me any good. I will keep posting my progress and appreciate your help. *hugs*
18. atp

    

    501 posts
    Registered:
    31 Dec 2018
    18 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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    You're craving because you've got the nicotine back in your system....and that's why it is hard to 'deal' with too. It is the addict in your head talking to you. Those nicotine brain receptors are going crazy wanting you to give them what they want. Don't do it. 
    
    You motivated yourself to lose a bunch of weight. Now do the same with quitting smoking. 
    
    
    
    
    
19. keekz

    

    14 posts
    Registered:
    06 Nov 2019
    18 Nov 2019

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    Hah...but thing is...I put it all back on...now with quitting smoking, I've put more on. I've dowloaded 3 different quit smoking apps. But here at work, I'm not having any more cravings and considering I've just finished lunch too. I'm starting all over again.
20. atp

    

    501 posts
    Registered:
    31 Dec 2018
    18 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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    keekz,
    
    I have been on the site a few times today just to support you. 
    
    F the quit smoking apps. Here's the thing that really will help. 
    
    How committed are you?
    Do you really want to quit?
    
    Because this is hard work. Quitting smoking is going to take an awful lot of willpower the first few weeks. 
    
    And...I see you offering support to another person just 2 days in. You really get this! I just want to reach across the interweb and give you a big bear hug. 
    
    On my last quit I realized I was done smoking. I just needed motivation to do it. I think you are finding yours. 
21. keekz

    

    14 posts
    Registered:
    06 Nov 2019
    18 Nov 2019 in reply to atp

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    ATP,
    
    I truly appreciate the support you've given. I've been off and on this site all day to read, get help, and vent (mainly lol)
    In regards to your questions; how committed am I and if I really want to quit...? The answer is no. I don't want to quit. But , I know I HAVE to. For my health. For my well being. To live a breathable life. I know that this is hard work. I'm committed to not give in. I need to vent , I need this as an online journal to help me get by. I come here off and on because I truly appreciate the responses from everyone. I am trying to help others and trying to help myself at the same time.
    It takes time and patience , I have both, but I also slipped up and need to be told it's ok. 
    We will get through this...just one minute at a time! *hugs to all*
22. justfortoday

    

    168 posts
    Registered:
    12 Aug 2019
    19 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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    Hi keekz,
    
    A slip is just that, a slip. I slipped after my first week and felt horrible. And more than that, I was so afraid I would never be able to do this.
    
    You mentioned that you didn't want to quit, but felt you had to. I think maybe that's the addiction talking because regardless of the reason you are doing this ... you are here and you're really working hard. That matters ... you matter.
    
    So stay as strong, because you can do this.
    
    I'll check in on you later keekz.
23. keekz

    

    14 posts
    Registered:
    06 Nov 2019
    26 Nov 2019

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    So my slip hasn't ended. It seems with all of my stresses and issues going on, I've kept on smoking. I'm not smoking AS much as I did before. I've cut out my morning routine of coffee and cigarettes and wait until I get to work 2 hours later. It's a small step, but I've decided to try again Dec 1. 
    I'm also frustrated with this site, as I wanted to update my progress and wasn't able to due to login and email issues. I hope everyone else is on track and keeping up the good work, I on the other hand, will try again at the end of the month. Good luck to all. 
24. elfridaauston87

    

    6 posts
    Registered:
    28 Nov 2019
    28 Nov 2019

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    Welcome aboard and many congrats. 
25. atp

    

    501 posts
    Registered:
    31 Dec 2018
    28 Nov 2019 in reply to keekz

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    Keekz,
    
    Good for you deciding to get back to your quit at the end of this month. 
    
    Take some time and write out the pros and cons of smoking, and also look at what you could do different next time to avoid possible slips..Never hurts to learn from experience. 
    
    Cutting down always left me frustrated and starved for nicotine in a constant state of nicotine withdrawal. Was way better to just quit and get over the withdrawal all in one shot. Changing patterns of smoking, on the other hand really did help. You break the 'routine' of smoking. 
    
    We're here to help. Many of us have slipped and relapsed. It happens.