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"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in" Cancel

1. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   02 Feb 2019

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   The addict in my head really gave me the full on treatment last night. Just as I'm celebrating one month smoke free, I have the worst evening of cravings since about the first week. It's like in the Soprano's with one of the characters saying "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" 
   
   For the entire evening I had that hunger/thirst feeling, got really grumpy, restless, and had a hard time focusing. Even had a restless sleep. Through it all I wasn't really tempted to smoke, but that extended craving was a real good reminder of how powerful the addiction is. 
   
   What a different way of looking at it though - I was actually annoyed at the craving episode. 
   
   To soothe myself this morning I spent a bit of time reading lots of older posts on this site and responded to some newer posts. It feels good to be a part of this larger community of new non-smokers.
   
   Keep the quit going everyone!
2. turningpoint

   

   97 posts
   Registered:
   30 Nov 2017
   02 Feb 2019

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   Hello atp,
   
   Congratulations on resisting the addict in your head.  Every time you do that, it's a major victory for you.
   
   I cannot make the same claim of perfect resistance myself.  However I'm still working on it and I promise I will never give up.
3. marianne, quit coach

   

   278 posts
   Registered:
   30 Nov 2017
   02 Feb 2019

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   Atp- Great awareness of how the addiction can show its hold on you.  However, believing in the power you have is key.  The struggle is so uncomfortable yet you came through it stronger.  And having this outlook as you shared helped you face it dead on and the ultimate winner!  
   
   Your self-care this morning, putting your energy forward to put it behind, yourself ahead while 
   uplifting others at the same time is amazing!  
   
   Turningpoint- your name says it all as very positive that this is happening for you as your efforts are being made.  You will reap the benefits in due time.  Looking forward for this for you! 
   
   Best Wishes!
   
   Marianne
   
   
   
   
4. treepeo

   

   832 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   02 Feb 2019

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   Yay atp, you stayed strong and didn't give in.  Way to go!
   
   I can really relate to how you felt.  At the end of my first month, I cried for two days straight.  The cravings, well, they just wouldn't stop.  But it was like it was the last hurrah.  Because after that, things got a whole lot better.
   
   I am so glad that you held onto your quit, atp.  You should do something nice for yourself for achieving this awesome milestone!  Keep the quit!
5. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   02 Feb 2019 in reply to turningpoint

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   turningpoint,
   
   Glad to see you are still about. I'm really rooting for you. No need to be perfect, just need to keep at it. Eventually you will make that big breakthrough. I tried to quit at least a dozen times over the years. 
6. turningpoint

   

   97 posts
   Registered:
   30 Nov 2017
   02 Feb 2019 in reply to atp

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   Thanks for the encouragement, atp.  I'm rooting for you too.
7. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   02 Feb 2019 in reply to treepeo

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   treepeo,
   
   You have no idea how much that helped me hearing that others have experienced similar. Guess that is why I try to give back to those starting on their quits. Thanks. 
   
   Always enjoy reading your posts. 
   
8. dublinguy

   

   349 posts
   Registered:
   09 Dec 2021
   24 Mar 2022

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   Those cravings and urges are nasty pieces of work. We can be going along fine and then booooom, out of nowhere, we get struck. The good news though is that the longer we travel along the path, the stronger we get and we have the power to say no... not today.