Welcome to the Community Forums

Morning coffee and smoking- day 14 Cancel

1. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   08 Jan 2020

   Link to this post

   Hi Efram
   Thank you for cheering me on and your support and very wise advice. Sometimes it feels harder to live smoke free then those first few days /weeks of with drawl. And yes- ATP was right. Now the hard part is living life as a non smoker. There are days now where I feel so relieved that I have quit smoking (one day at a time) The anxiety I used to carry around re having a recurrence of breast cancer and the fact I started smoking again was CRIPPLING !!! Although both times my breast cancer was caught quite early- just the fact that I started smoking again felt INSANE. My husband said he could not believe that my cancer was caught quite early- that in itself is a gift -but yet I would continue to smoke.... I get it. A cancer diagnosis ( for me anyways) was/is devastating. And in the past - the only way I knew how to cope with anxiety and grief was to smoke. Now that I am cigarette free (one day at a  time) I have to find ways to cope other than smoking ! THAT IS HARD BUT DOABLE ( not sure if doable is even a word) small steps. 
   Thanks Efram- I cant begin to tell you how much this Forum has helped and supported me ! I will let you know when I find my new coping skills - Kit
2. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   08 Jan 2020 in reply to kit

   Link to this post

   Kit,
   
   Pretty amazing that you are through 2 months since you quit. I'm really proud of you for getting this far, and impressed with how well you've managed to keep your mood up. 
   
   You know one motivator for me around my second month was my wife came up one day before bed and gave me a hug and she just kind of took a deep whiff and smiling she said I smelled nice. Back when i smoked there were so many times I delayed going to bed because I needed one last smoke., well that night we both went up to bed pretty quick....Sometimes you just need to look for the small things. 
   
   I lost my younger brother to colon cancer 7 years ago (he was 40), on top of my older sister having had breast cancer at 40 6 years earlier (double mastectomy and she is still fine today) and I got scared, but not scared enough to quit smoking. Terrible addiction. 
   
   One of my mentors here, Treepeo, was diagnosed with cancer that had metastasized and I quote her "Even though my cancer has metastasized, I am not going to give up.  I will continue to fight"  so that I can enjoy life for as long as possible.  And I have a much better chance of doing that now that I am a non-smoker."
   
   So thank your lucky stars and make the most of every smoke free day you have. 
3. efram, quit coach

   

   235 posts
   Registered:
   29 Nov 2017
   08 Jan 2020 in reply to kit

   Link to this post

   Hi Kit,
   
   You are most welcome. We know how important this is to you, so we will do whatever we can to help you to keep standing tall and strong -- following your lead, of course!
   
   And yes, finding new ways to cope is quite doable (pretty sure that IS a word!). It may be hard, but from where I stand it seems like a fantastic, exciting growth opportunity!!!  
   
   
   
   
4. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   12 Jan 2020 in reply to atp

   Link to this post

   Thanks atp
   Im sorry to hear about your brother and seems your sister and myself have had  a similar journey with breast cancer. Its hard. I found I smoked more the 2 times I was diagnosed- the insanity of smoking- and yet it gave me so much comfort - but if one really deconstructs the whole smoking thing-its really a false comfort and for sure it does not last. Living without cigarettes is REALLY HARD smoking is not an option. I have chatted briefly with treepeo- AN INSPIRATION !
   Its putting other things in place- thatis hard but it WILL come. For sure there are longer periods of time I dont think about it. First was seconds- then minutes- now hours ! Thanks atp  
   Kit - ps Thats the best- your right - not smelling of smoke. I still have cravings all the time but the intensity of the whole QUIT SMOKING and the fear is less- not a lot- just a little ( dont want to jinx it)
5. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   12 Jan 2020 in reply to efram, quit coach

   Link to this post

   Hi Efram
   I really like the growth opportunity thing  you speak of. ITS HUGE to quit smoking ! It is CRAZY- at least to me that I knew full well how self destructive smoking  was - yet  to continue  even after a diagnosis of breast cancer- feels like insanity ! But the wall or the amount of denial I must of created every time I smoked is astounding !
   Filling that time is hard !  When you spoke  about Growth Opportunities - I looked at other areas in my life where I would repeat that pattern. That denial of the truth. Sorry all a bit abstract but for sure to continue smoking ( for me ) would probably be not as enjoyable as I can see the whole picture ! Thanks Efram - Kit  ps- Yup its doable !
6. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   20 Jan 2020 in reply to kit

   Link to this post

   Day 73- no cigarettes - feeling bored of counting days and numbers and triggers -and making sure I have gum in case of bad craving ! Got an email  from Smokers Hotline- was really nice and so true. First couple months lots of hoop-lah- I was so excited that I may actually make it through first couple months- and I have and honestly coming up to three months feels really hard - like first week. I have heard three's are hard-3 days -3 weeks- 3 months. I was watching a Ted Talk and a Doctor was talking about a women who wanted to start smoking again-just to feel her lungs. I get that, and also get that I would regret it- BIG TIME if I started smoking again. Back to crappy tv for couple days. Having a pity party. Hope all had a good day ! Kit
7. atp

   

   501 posts
   Registered:
   31 Dec 2018
   21 Jan 2020 in reply to kit

   Link to this post

   Kit,
   
   The 3 month thing happens to a lot of quitters.
   
   It's almost like burnout is setting in. you have been battling this addiction and are tried of it, and it doesn't feel like it will ever end. 
   
   But, you are over the physical addiction if you went cold turkey (even using NRT's you are probably easing back), and the real source of your cravings - the mental/habit addiction is starting to wane.  Its kind of the last kick at the can for the addict in your head because your dopamine levels are returning to normal. 
   
   What I found was that after month 3 with that last great mental meltdown I started to feel a lot better as a non-smoker - the cravings faded, and in general I didn't think about smoking as much. 
   
   You're going to change your focus from counting days to looking forward to the next milestone -3 months, 6 months, etc. 
   
   You just need to push through the next little while and focus on learning how to be a non-smoker. 
8. justfortoday

   

   168 posts
   Registered:
   12 Aug 2019
   21 Jan 2020 in reply to kit

   Link to this post

   Hi Kit!
   
   I totally validate how you're feeling! The three month mark for me was brutal! I was totally thrown off by the intense cravings (I think I even posted something about this).
   
   As atp says, it's almost like that addicted part of our brain is desperately is begging us to smoke … just give up on the quit! So happy you're not!
   
   As well, counting the days, weeks, hours etc., started to irritate me. It just seemed that I was telling myself, "okay … I'm at day 63, or day 72 … I can do another day." This was useful in the beginning, but it started to take my focus away from being a non-smoker to nsomeone who has abstained from smoking for a certain number of days. And I stopped counting. I know that I'm coming up to five months, but unless I do the math, I have no clue how many days since my last cigarette.
   
   I can say this … after the three month point there is a shift and I can honestly say with conviction that I will never smoke again. As a matter of fact I sometimes look back and see myself smoking and it just feels so foreign to me now.
   
   So as always, be proud and keep doing everything you're doing. You totally got this, my quit friend!
9. kit

   

   91 posts
   Registered:
   18 Apr 2019
   22 Jan 2020 in reply to justfortoday

   Link to this post

   Hi justfortoday
   WOW - THANK YOU. I so needed to hear that ! Especially the part about a shift sometime after the 3 month period. Yes- The cravings are brutal. I rush home after work and check my quit calculator - my thinking about smoking 24/7 has returned. But if I play the tape all the way to the end- I WOULD SO REGRET IT.... Thanks you really helped me- supported ! 
10. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    17 Feb 2020 in reply to justfortoday

    Link to this post

    Hi justfortoday- Wow I have not been able to access this forum- web site was down or something?? Two weeks felt like my Life Line was cut off. DAY 104 of not smoking. Someone said at 3 months was hard but feel like Im turning a corner- starting to feel way better ! Im so happy I could finally log on !
11. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    17 Feb 2020 in reply to efram, quit coach

    Link to this post

    Hi Efram
    Kit here- 104 days smoke free. I was having trouble logging on to the Smokers Help Line site. Wondering if there has been a glitch ? Good to be back and smoke free still !
12. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    17 Feb 2020 in reply to atp

    Link to this post

    Hi atp- Kit here. Well I made it past three months- Day 104. For about 2 maybe 3 weeks I was unable to log on to the help line. I heard other people were having difficulty as well. I was in a panic- as this forum has been so helpful. But I have not smoked. Still having to stay clear of some people / places and things that are triggers- but when you said keep pushing through and I did and its getting easier- can feel a shift. Mornings are still hard but once the day gets going - I go through hours and never think about it ! Then I think- oh do I need to stop and get cigarets - then remember I quit smoking ! THE BEST IS I DONT SMELL OF SMOKE ! And my husband and son are very proud of me. Thanks for all your support ! Glad I could get back on to forum. Although I have to go through my husbands e-mail ( all to confusing) but this forum is AMAZING- helps so much with the day to day trials and tribulations of quitting smoking !!
13. sarah, quit coach

    

    222 posts
    Registered:
    28 Nov 2017
    18 Feb 2020

    Link to this post

    Yay to you, kit - day 104 - wow! Amazing! 
    You carry with you so much wisdom and inspiration, and we are so glad to have YOU part of this community.
    Deeply sorry for the technical issues, but you figured out a work-around, persevered, and reached out for what it was you needed to stay smoke-free....congrats! 
     
    Continue to enjoy the benefits of your quit, and we wish you the very best,
    
    Sarah
14. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    18 Feb 2020 in reply to sarah, quit coach

    Link to this post

    Thanks Sarah ! Never thought of it that way- that I persevered- and yes eventually I figured out a work-around ( like that term) re technical issues- can only get on via a link in my e-mail. Used to be able to just Google smokers help line but does not work. Oh well - I found a way in ! Thank goodness- as I was truly anxious that site had been closed and yet I remain smoke free!
15. atp

    

    501 posts
    Registered:
    31 Dec 2018
    18 Feb 2020 in reply to kit

    Link to this post

    Kit,
    
    Really proud of you for getting this far. 
    
    You know, I used to be amazed reading stories about those that quit before me and how they all claimed how much better it gets only to learn that it really does get better. 
    
    I remember at about 6 or 7 months after I quit I was paying for gas and asked for a pack of smokes out of habit. So much routine that takes time to break.....
    
    
    You'll get there with your attitude!
16. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    19 Feb 2020 in reply to atp

    Link to this post

    Thanks atp.
    The computer glitch scared me- but found a way in. Not having support feels really sad ( at least for me ) honestly its just good to sign in and read post etc and be supported by a community. Wow- would be weird to smoke in my car now. Months ago I almost had a massive anxiety attack re how I would get to work without smoking...funny how what we really practice just gets stronger... Thanks- Kit
17. treepeo1

    

    255 posts
    Registered:
    06 Feb 2020
    20 Feb 2020 in reply to kit

    Link to this post

    Hi kit,
    
    I was shut out of the system for a couple of months, so I am just catching up on your posts.  CONGRATULATIONS!!!  You are rocking your quit!  You should be so proud of yourself, kit.  The fact that you couldn't get in to this system for a few weeks and you still held on is amazing!  Kit,, I lived on this site.  I logged on first thing in the morning, and sometimes I was even a bit late leaving for work but I said, I don't care, my quit is more important than my job right now.  And thankfully my boss was completely supportive because he wanted me to quit for years.  And now, I have three whole years under my belt.  And honestly, I couldn't have done it without the Smoker's Helpline.
    
    So glad to hear you have felt a shift.  That is an important step in the process, because you are starting to adjust to being a non-smoker.  And yes, isn't it great not to reek of smoke, or to worry about having smoke breath?  Honestly, I gained so much confidence when I quit, because when people stopped to talk to me unexpectedly, I no longer had to worry about my nasty breath.  I used to be the queen of Listerine breath strips and never went anywhere without them.  And still I reeked.  You just do when you are a smoker.
    
    And kit, your body is thanking you for quitting.  It truly is.  As a non-smoker, your body absorbs way more nutrients from food.  I think I read somewhere that a smoker needs to ingest 3x more Vitamin C than a non-smoker.  So I imagine that applies to every other vitamin and mineral.  Now, you are getting the full benefit of the foods you eat.  Cool, eh?
    
    I am so happy for you, kit.  Try to relax and enjoy the benefits of being a non-smoker.  At some point, it will just become second nature.
18. kit

    

    91 posts
    Registered:
    18 Apr 2019
    20 Feb 2020 in reply to treepeo1

    Link to this post

    Hi treepeo1- Hey - Thanks ! Something funny with logging in to helpline- can get in but only through an email link- but hey it works ! I kinda of felt stranded at sea ! Being hooked to Smokers Help Line a good thing !  Just the mere fact of posting or reading posts I feel part of a community with endless support !  Three whole years is AMAZING !!! You are so right re enjoining the benefits- and a pat on the shoulders ! I get caught up in the drama of how hard it is quitting as opposed to how great it is not to buy Listerine breath strips....
19. dublinguy

    

    349 posts
    Registered:
    09 Dec 2021
    15 Mar 2022

    Link to this post

    What a wonderful thread. I know its from a few years back but I really enjoyed reading it and so much of it is familiar. Such honesty about the whole journey that quitting smoking is. I found I was the same as you Kit... smoking to mask the emotional stuff I was going through. Cigarettes were my best friend always there for me. Now that we quit, we just don't have that crutch anymore and we are more exposed. Smoking was killing our mental health without us knowing. Now that we are no longer getting all that poison in our lungs, our minds are free to deal with life in a better way.