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A pledge until my quit date...

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  1. jene
    jene avatar
    14 posts
    21 Mar 2023
    23 Mar 2023
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    Hello again folks.

    So this weekend is my last for smoking. My quit date is the end of the month, and as I don't smoke during the week, that means I have a few hours this weekend to put in a personal practice. I have a lot of rigid rules around my smoking and I feel like a total weirdo for sharing them, but this might give you an idea of where I'm at.

    I never smoke indoors, I only smoke between the hours of 4:30pm and 8:00pm, and only on my days off, and never over 4 cigarettes a day. This might sound like real discipline, but really, it's a foolish attempt to exert control over something that in the end, means that during these times, the habit just becomes more entrenched...and desperate to have its space. It's also been the result of my body's communication with me. I've been pushing it further and further out with every time I quit, but we all know who wins in the end unless we truly call it quits.

    Anyways, I was watching this podcast on addiction, by Rich Roll, who had all these clips from his best talks with people on addiction (I'm a former addict of all kinds, so I have never separated smoking from any other addiction - it's all addiction), and there was some fabulous information shared. One such thing was the practice I'll be doing this weekend, and this is finally it - sorry for the ramble!

    For each cigarette I choose to smoke this weekend, for every single drag, I am going to be fully present with each and every aspect of my experience with it. That means paying attention to the taste and feeling on my tongue and in my mouth, the smell in the air, on my skin, my clothes...the feelings throughout my body, my heart, my anxiety levels, my thoughts, EVERYTHING. This is not an easy practice to stick to, I've done it before, but this time I am committed to doing it each and every time I decide to light up. Yes, I have committed to disgusting myself. But it's more than that.

    We spend most of our smoking time totally not present to the act we are doing. And as I close this door, I want to come face to face with everything I can, so that it is easier to remember. I've gone through getting clean from a lot of things in my further distant past, and of the many things I've learned about addiction, it's that we forget all too easily, why we quit. Body memory is our strongest and most enduring form of memory, so I'm going to work with that and bring it to the forefront.

    Wishing everyone a safe and loving weekend with yourself, and anyone and everything you come into contact with.

    Last modified on 23 Mar 2023 10:45 by jene
  2. karen, quit coach
    karen, quit coach avatar
    46 posts
    09 Nov 2022
    24 Mar 2023 in reply to jene
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    Hi Jene,

    Thank you for sharing. Sounds like this quit is very important to you and you have done a lot of reflecting of previous quits. You have a really solid understanding of your smoking pattern and now you can strategize. Being mindful and present is such an important, and sometimes, extremely challenging thing to do. You sound committed, indeed! 
    Wishing you all the best this weekend and looking forward to your next post. 
2 posts, 0 answered