29 Nov 2017
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Thank you friends. I had such a tough time last Friday night. I was really obsessing about having that "one" magical cigarette as a reward. But I fought hard!!! And sucked quite a few nicotine lozanges, but they didn't seem to help that much. Eventually I fell asleep and woke up feeling strong once again yesterday morning. I'm so glad that I stuck with it. I had to go on youtube and read and listen to a bunch of stop smoking video's to distract me and carry me through. One thing I learned is that when we get into those "just one" mindsets, is that we imagine a really good smoking experience. They suggest that we instead imagine all the negative smoking moments when we smoked too much and felt awful. And it stuck. Very few cigarettes feel good, most are just mindlessly smoked and serve no "pleasure". I had my COPD test, and surprisingly my lungs are normal for my age, even after 45 years as a smoker???? But they don't feel normal in the Spring as I get asthmatic now from my hayfever, so I know I wouldn't test well at that time of year. But hey, what a surprise and I'm counting my blessings!!! I especially enjoy breathing in chilly air as it's soooooo refreshing and I feel my breath go all of the way down into my lower lungs. My weekdays are much better at not thinking of smoking as much now. Weekends are harder to distract myself, so I tend to think more about cigarettes, but it's slowly improving. I reckon these are mental craves now. I have to keep going back to remind myself to put things in a positive mindset. I still sleep a lot when I can, quite alarming really. My brain is adjusting to the lack of dopamine. They say it akes 3 months for the dopamine thing to sort itself out and start pumping again without nicotine.