29 Nov 2017
15 Nov 2018
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It's great to hear that you want to quit smoking. That is half the battle.
I would suggest you read the material on this site and do the exercises/questionnaires. Take a look at what others have posted here, and think about whether you want to quit cold turkey, or use NRTs. If the latter, decide which ones you want to try. I think preparation is really important, because that way, you can focus on your quit and what you have to do, rather than getting distracted by trying to decide what to do in various situations.
And Help, please don't be so hard on yourself. We are all in the same boat. We have all wanted to quit, tried and been unsuccessful. We all have our own reasons why we want to quit. You are not alone. I smoked for over 40 years as well, and with the help of this site and the wonderful people here, I quit smoking 22 months ago, and I never went back to it.
Give it a shot, Help. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. You can do this. Believe in yourself.