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1. rowan

   

   17 posts
   Registered:
   14 May 2023
   29 Sep

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   Set a new quit date again. 
   
   

   Sorry for the long post but I really need to get this out. 
   
   I’m a few days away from 4 years sober but I haven’t been able to string along more than a week smoke free in the last 30 years. Why is this?
   
   I have all the tools to quit smoking. I have the reasons, though I have to admit that my reasons are stronger than my actual desire. Maybe that’s the crux of it all. I desired to get sober because my life was spinning out of control so I just did it. It was excruciating but I did it. However, I used my smoking as a crutch to get me through my first few years of sobriety. Now that crutch has turned into an anchor. I’m anchored in the turbulent waters of fear. 
   
   What am I afraid of? Mostly the discomfort. The human condition is such that we spend a lot of time avoiding discomfort. We feel we shouldn’t have to endure any discomfort in our lives. Some of us take that to an extreme and develop addictions instead of coping skills and the art of letting go. 
   
   I’m afraid if I quit smoking I will pick up the bottle again… but that is not at all real, it’s just my addict brain that is always searching for an excuse to use. 
   
   I’m afraid I will never be successful so why would I go through hell just to keep failing? 
   
   If I set my irrational fears aside and really pluck out the truth behind the real reason I have yet to be successful; is that I’m having trouble with seeing the tangible results with smoke free days the way I did when I stopped drinking. Being sober was night and day for me, and the external consequences vanished like magic. I witnessed my life get better with each passing minute. 
   
   Smoking though, is insidious and more subtle. Yes, when you quit you immediately smell better, save money and your loved ones sound the bells of support loud and clear. But is this enough? It’s not like I’m spinning out. My life is not upside down and will right itself and come into focus the moment I’m smoke free. I realize I have to play the long game. The short term results are just not enough for me to sustain motivation. So far I’ve been focusing mostly on the short term gains. 
   
   I’ve learned through sobriety that the long game takes patience and small steps but more importantly, for me, it takes the grinding of teeth and the white knuckling of moments. Sometimes 30 painful seconds at a time. But more importantly for me, it requires a focus on what my life will look like a year from now, four years from now; when I can finally get to a place where I can honestly say the words “this is how I’ve chosen to live my life so that’s how I’m living it”.
   
   I realize this is very specific to me and my life. Your story may be very different from mine, but at the end of the day each one of us here are connected in a very human way with the same common goal and we can find strength in each other. Reading your successes bolsters me to keep trying and proves that this is possible no matter how daunting it seems.
   
   My sincere hope is that a few months from now, my success can be added to the collective to help the next person, just as you are doing for me. I’m grateful to all of you. Thank you. 

2. karen, quit coach

   

   55 posts
   Registered:
   09 Nov 2022
   4 days and 1 hour ago in reply to rowan

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   Hi rowan,
   
   Congratulations on setting a new quit date for yourself and for sharing your story with us. 
   
   Sounds like you have done a lot of reflecting on your smoking and you have a really good understanding of how to approach your quit along with some strategies and tools that will help you to succeed. However, you are also struggling with understanding the long-term benefits of living a life smoke free. Yes, there are plenty of short-term physical benefits that you will notice like your senses of smell and taste returning, breathing more easily, having increased energy, better circulation, improved lung function and reduced wheezing, cough and phlegm. And you will save money, have more time to do other things and smell better. But consider some of the long-term benefits:
   
   Consider your long-term risk of cancer, lung disease, heart disease and stroke will be significantly reduced. Stopping smoking also improves your mental health and well-being. Evidence shows that people who quit smoking have reduced anxiety, depression and stress. People also note having an increased positive mood compared to people who continue to smoke. 
   
   It can be difficult to focus on the long-term benefits when quitting smoking, that is for sure, but it's so important to make note of them. Your future self will thank you!
   
   Thank you again for sharing, Rowan. Your honesty and determination will no doubt inspire others.
   
   Wishing you the best on your new journey.
   
   Warm regards,
   Karen, Quit Coach
3. rowan

   

   17 posts
   Registered:
   14 May 2023
   3 days and 16 hours ago in reply to rowan

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   Thank you Karen for your wise words and your support. I think the long term benefits you explained are exactly what I need to get through it. That is the best way to keep my eyes on the prize.