23 Mar 2019
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i have tried many times to quit smokes and have posted here through my many attempts. i thought did a good thing and didnt smoke any more i lost the smokes but picked up vaping. i thought hey thats good they are better than smoking. the other day i was watching a channel on the tv in the morning and had this report on vaping and how they are making people very sick. i have heard these reports before but never paid too much attention as was just words. well the other day i was listening and they had a report.in the report was an acutal video of a 17 year old who was in emergency and want able to take a breath in or breath. i watched it and paid more attention. a couple hours later i went to vape and all i saw was the boy struggling not being able to breath. i couldnt take that vape and use it. i slowed right down on it never being able to be comfortable with it. this evening i have been having a tough time with my neighbour and he is putting me through a nightmare with his behaviour and things he constantly after me not wanting anything and i have been really stressed and down with all this and i guess the term when you hit rock bottom really is what it says. i was stressed and really down and was just at my witts end. guess am dating myself there, when i got so angry out of the blue that i dont stand up for myself and why and i keep giving in ect.....but then i realised that i keep giving in to the vaping of nicotine and i dont stand up to it it just keeps beating me and i crumbled when a craving hits and its not what i want and inside my resolve kicked in and i a realised i am not gonna let that do that to me any more with anything and smoking in the forefront. its not gonna push me around and i am gonna take a stand and am gonna do and get to what i want for me and not just let it push me around stopping me from the things i really want. so the vape is gone and went and got my thrive 4mg gum and have been using it from an hour ago and nothing else. i know my full day wont start till tomorrow but i dont want anything more to do with it and am gonna stand up for myself. when was reading the posts before and its gotta come from the inside i really thought it did as i thought about it and figured yes that is inside what i want. it is inside what i want but truly you need to add that feeling and drive and emotion that you are gonna do that and i now know inside that is what i want. i am going to quick vaping and be a non smoker nicotine free. the vaping video really hit home somewhere in me and knew as had to do with vaping that really know that i at any time there is a really good chance i will be going through that and hitting rock bottom and that anger that a lot of people think is a bad thing but it isnt it brought out and gave me a drive and determination that this isnt going to beat me not being pushed around i am gonna push it around. quitting smoking reports and commercials i didnt pay too much attention to as i quit smokes and i vape i dont need to pay attention to that. not.