emancipated
9 posts
Registered:
02 Oct 2019
03 Oct 2019
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i have been walking much lately. it helps some with the cravings and probably has kept me from gaining huge amounts of weight. on my walk tonight i encountered two small breakthrough moments. i passed by two people smoking, and while i can't say that it smelled bad, it also did not smell all that good. small successes. this is a first since i crushed and buried my cigs in the late night hours of september 14th. i did have to pull out my winter jacket for this evenings walk, first time wearing that since april. did not anticipate finding ciggies in my jacket pocket. i did wrestle with that. told myself it must be god telling me it is ok to have just one. then i told myself it was not ok but i should hang onto them for emergencies. you know like a break glass in case of kind of a thing. weird how much our brains can bargain when faced with such temptation. finally talked myself into throwing out the ciggies in a garbage can at the mall. small successes. celebrating those tonight.