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Ocean's journey

142 posts, 1 answered
  1. ocean
    ocean avatar
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    01 Dec 2017
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    Finally guys, I'm logged on!  It took a while to work out a few kinks.  As you know my journey to reduce my smoking consumption has decreased from 25 to 1/2 pack per day, give or take.  My dad died this morning for those of you who are aware of some of the side struggles I've been waiting to settle.  He was finally at peace and it was really nice in the end.  But I've been living at the hospital for almost 2 weeks, and that was hard on my system, so I had to stop monitering smoking for a bit.  Hopefully in a few days my life will be back to my normal routine, and I'll be talking with a coach about nicotine replacement to get these last smokes down and out.  So onwards and upwards I go!  And I look forward to hearing of your successes, advice, struggles as it all helps!
  2. lithan44
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    01 Dec 2017 in reply to ocean
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    Ocean, my dear Friend. I'm so sadden to hear of your dad's passing. It sounds as though he passed with relative ease.  How are you? We're here to support you through your loss and with your quit journey. Hugs!
  3. vix
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    01 Dec 2017
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    Hugs my friend ocean. Sorry to hear this news. Like Lithan says we’re here for you. 
  4. emily, quit coach
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    01 Dec 2017
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    Hi ocean,

    I'm sorry to hear about your dad. As the other members have said, we are here to support you.

    Whenever you are feeling ready to continue reducing or start a nicotine replacement we will be here to discuss it with you and offer any advice we can.

    Emily
  5. ocean
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    01 Dec 2017
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    I had a call from The Heart Institute this morning for a supervised smoking cessation program which starts later in December.  The orientation is next Wednesday, then a follow up with a nurse about once a month for 6 sessions.  I'm glad I got in.
  6. treepeo
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    02 Dec 2017 in reply to ocean
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    Hi Ocean,

    I am sorry to hear you lost your father.  It sounds like he went peacefully, which is always a blessing, but it is never easy to lose someone we love.  My thoughts are with you.

    Getting into a smoking cessation group sounds like a wonderful idea.  You have come so far already, despite the many challenges you have faced.  Joining a group like that could only be a benefit to you.

    You continue to amaze me Ocean.  You are thoughtful, hard working and strong, and you have a wonderful, positive attitude.  You are going to beat this addiction, never doubt it.  It is going to happen, and your life will change for the better.  Please continue to share your journey with us.  We are all rooting for you.
  7. ocean
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    07 Dec 2017 in reply to treepeo
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    Hi Treepeo and Lithan,
    I went to that meeting at the Heart Institute tonight and learned a thing or 2 about NRT's and drugs.  It's very different to what I hear on this site, but extremely encouraging.  Basically NRTs are highly recommended in tandem with prescription pills and with other NRT's.  The Patch is great for a low steady dose, but they encourage fast acting NRT's at the same time.  They say the mist is the fastest hit, and the inhaler.  My challenging time is after work till after dinner so I'd double up at this time.  This is supposed to be extra helpful in those "I'm sick of distracting myself again and again" moments,lol!

    Thank you for your condolences, I feel like I've been through the wringer these last three weeks.  The funeral was yesterday, so now is a time of reflection and processing and getting back on schedule.  My moods are all over, I'll feel normal, then a wave of tears will wash over me.  Or I'll get irritated, or just persevere, or laugh with fond memories.  Basic basketcase dealing with feelings.

    My Doctor was right to say to hold off on the quit until it passed.  The hospital routine was a killer.  But my first appointment at The Heart Institute is in mid January, so I'll continue preparing and weaning.  I'm wondering if I should reset my quit coach app?  I'm feeling sentimental about keeping it and seeing if I can change the amount smoked, so as to reflect the real journey I started 2 months ago.  Because I can't deal with all or nothing thinking right now, just progress.  Progress is good!

  8. brieffree
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    07 Dec 2017 in reply to ocean
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    Dear Ocean

    I am sorry to hear about your Dad!

    I remember when my Dad passed I time ago, my only consolation was smoking. I can imagine how you were.

    You are doing such a Great job quitting, He will be proud of you!

    Smoking is not the solution, and it takes away our common sense of leaving. Due to our habit makes it a bit difficult.
    The good think is you are in your way yo freedom!

    Congrats
  9. ocean
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    28 Dec 2017
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    I set my quit date!  Monday, January 15th, 2018.  i'll be at work, so it's a good day to be distracted.  I also have an appointment with a quit nurse that week, and I'm gearing up my motivation.  Do any of you have suggestions for the trigger of Waning Motivation?  I get that, especially a coule of months in...  Im thinking to get extra sleep, and to eat really healthy to combat it.  I've reset my decreasing smoke app until then, and will use NRT gum to help reduce.
    Happy New Year everyone!
  10. treepeo
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    28 Dec 2017
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    Hi Ocean,

    I am glad you now have a quit date.  That will be a new goal for you to work towards.

    To stay motivated, I did a couple of things:

    1.  I reminded myself of all of the reasons why I wanted to quit;
    2.  I thought about how much better I was feeling physically;
    3.  In various situations I found myself in, I consciously thought about the fact that I no longer felt guilty or embarrassed, because I was no longer smoking and therefore, my clothes and breath smelled better.  And I was not taking my health for granted and playing Russian roulette with my health, while other people struggled with their health through no fault of their own; and
    4.  I came onto this site every day, sometimes a few times a day.  Doing this really helped me, because I truly feel accountable to all of my friends here, and I believe we are all in this together.

    Maybe someone else can add to these suggestions.

    You are doing a really great job, Ocean, and you are really smart to go at your own pace.  You should give yourself a big pat on the back, because despite all of the challenging situations you have faced, you keep putting one foot in front of another, and that takes guts.  So I know that you have what it takes to quit smoking for good.  And I am rooting for you.
  11. marianne, quit coach
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    28 Dec 2017
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    Hello Ocean,

    So good to hear you are getting support through the Heart Institute with NRT's- products and dosing.  Sounds like a great plan between after work and dinner.  

    It is a challenging time for you and your doctor supporting you with their guidance is so important.  

    With respect to your motivation, adding more reasons is always a benefit.  Can you list all of the reasons for us?  Treepeo shared really good factors that keep the momentum going.  

    Kudos to you for taking the steps to quit in the New Year.  Pace yourself and consult with your doctor through the process.  We are here for you too.  

    Best Wishes,

    Marianne




  12. clepage
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    29 Dec 2017
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    Hello Ocean,

    Congratulations in trying to quit and setting a quit date.  Please post as many as you want and we will be here to support you.
  13. ocean
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    06 Jan
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    Ok, one reason to quit is because I hate having to go for scans or whatever with specialists in out-patient.  Sounds crazy, right?  So I want to avoid expensive parking, fasting, booking time off work, and all the inconvenience that I will undoubtably have to go through if I continue to smoke.  If I don't watch it, I'll have to go through this with COPD issues, Severe Flu side effects, Severe Illness that require on-going care and treatment.  Chronic Illnesses are no fun, and I don't want one.  Typing this to remind myself, lol.
  14. jennifer, quit coach
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    07 Jan in reply to ocean
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    Good Evening ocean,

    Those are some great reasons why quitting is better than staying smoking!

    I've never thought, in detail, all the things that go along with being diagnosed with a chronic illness - thanks for posting this reminder that there are many "side effects" of smoking related illness in addition to the physical symptoms felt. You've really given us a view of 'being in another person's shoes" here.

    Have a great night!




  15. ocean
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    12 Jan in reply to jennifer, quit coach
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    Hi folks,
    It was my NRT day at the Ottawa Heart Institute.  I blew a 15 on the Carbon Monoxide breath thingamajig, so my goal is to have it lower in a month's time.  I'm trying and slowly getting Psyched now with a Patch on and still smoking this weekend, then no longer smoking in 2 days time.  I'm anxious, excited, and all over the place now.  But I feel I have to rouse myself up for Monday.

    So I start with the step one Patch and a combo of inhaler or mist (dreading the afternoon and early evening craves), so this should really help.  And the Patches were free, so I only have to pay for the inhalers and mist.  Otherwise I would be paying more than I do on cigarettes, which I can't afford.  Short term pain for long term gain, right?

    And I'm working the 12 steps to deal with finding other soutions than smoking for my problems.  So that's my back up too.

    I have this site for inspiration and a sounding board, expect to hear a lot in the beginning, sorry, lol!

    I just picked up quit smoking grocery supplies, an assortment of chocolates and candy, and tons of vegetables and grab and go healthy meals for the hunger I need to squash fast.  I learned I can't do hunger while craving.

    And duct tape, to keep the Patches on.  I won't be wearing them at night, because I like to feel rested in the morning and not like I've been up all night on furious adventures.

    I need to remind myself of the lessened dopamine levels, and to take it easy when I can, even if that means having a sick day or 2 in the first month. And I need to stay on top of things so I don't feel overwhelmed.  And to breathe, as I won't be getting those long inhales that come with smoking.  And to be flexible, not rigid in my way of being.  But to have resilience too and stick with it.

    And confidence.  I'll only get it by winning 'moments', so focus on the moments and don't get ahead of myself.

    And google every bad thing about nicotine and every good thing about addiction, the hard science of it all.

    Till next time (probably tonight!).

    Take Care you brave warriors,
    Ocean
  16. treepeo
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    13 Jan
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    Hi Ocean,

    Permission is a key word.  You have to give yourself permission to feel a whole range of emotions, and you have to give yourself permission to do whatever it takes to deal with those emotions.  If you need to take some time off work, do it.  If you need to punch a pillow, do it.  If you need to cry, do it.  Just tell yourself over and over that the most important thing is to stay smoke free, no matter what.  Yes, it will be hard, but hopefully the NRTs will be of great help to you.  And of course, we are all here to support you whenever you need it.
  17. efram, quit coach
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    15 Jan in reply to treepeo
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    Hi Ocean!

    Permission is a fine word, as treepeo says. I also like another word you used, flexible! There will be a lot of changes going on -- changes for the better, but it will be sure to keep you on your toes. Being flexible in your approach can only help.

    You've done a wonderful job with building your skills, your support, and your plan. Time to put it all together! You have tremendous strength. Keep moving forward in this way and you're bound to succeed.

    And since tomorrow is your quit date: we'll be rooting for you and here for you!

    Best Wishes,
    Efram
  18. ocean
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    16 Jan in reply to efram, quit coach
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    Hi guys,  thanks for the love!  I've been NOT smoking for over 24 hours now and I'm doing fine.  Except, maybe, my bank account.  I went shopping at Winners after work for a couple of sweaters and came home with 2 tablecloths instead????  They were pretty, and it distracted me, so ....   I used a Patch, a little touch of the inhaler (not too kean on it, but maybe helpful when I'm stuck in traffic), and I LOVED the mist!  The mist is so strong and takes like mouthwash.  You spray it under your tongue and slosh it around your mouth for a minute before swallowing.  It worked!!  And left such a sensation in my mouth that it satisfied an oral need too.  No nic fits today!
  19. treepeo
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    17 Jan
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    Hi Ocean,

    Glad to hear you're digging the mist.  It sounds awesome!  So glad that the NRTs are working for you.
  20. ocean
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    18 Jan
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    Day 2 done!
  21. emily, quit coach
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    18 Jan
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    Hi Ocean,

    Congrats on getting through 2 days smoke free!! You're doing great.

    Emily
  22. treepeo
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    18 Jan
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    Hey Ocean,

    I'm so proud of you.  2 whole days smoke free.  Way to go!
  23. ocean
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    18 Jan
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    Technically Day 4 almost done!  Keep going I tell myself.  One inch at a time.
  24. treepeo
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    Hey, an inch works, as long as it's an inch in the right direction!!!
  25. ocean
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    21 Jan
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    Yay, I've gone a week!  And I'm over today's hump.  Ihave a few things that I planned well for, some I didn't anticipate, and trying out new things.  The first was my food plan worked and helped so much.  I picked up some frozen meals for the days where I skipped lunch and came home starving but tired, so they were easy to microwave and fast.  Then I made sure I didn't skip my lunch and brought a grocery bag of raw veggies, cheese , dip and a loaf of French bread which I continued to eat all week, lol!  I was very lethargic by Friday, so I had no motivation to cook and was glad I had frozen fish etc ... on hand.

    The lethargy is real, folks.  So is feeling flat and a lack of affect (mood).  It got worse as the week went by and today I had it until about an hour ago. But I kept getting up every hour to do one or two things, like laundry, dishwasher, etc..  I was so sleepy, I tried walking the dog, stretching, eucalyptus oil, coffee, food, but nothing releived the depletion.  So I read, so glad that I can focus on reading!!!    I finally made another strong coffee about an hour ago and it helped so much.  I know I'm over the hump and I'm going out for a bit tonight.

    My mouth was so bored today.  I've never had that before.  But I needed to suck on ice water, park a nicarette gum, use a bit of inhaler, and open the windows to have my mouth feel sensory stimulation.  Weird, eh?  I even had to eat a spoonful of Salsa.

    My sleep is iffy.  I was wakeful all night and slept in 45 minute chunks.  I finally got up at 4AM and haven't napped so I can sleep soundly tonight.  But I did steal my daughters diffuser/white noise machine and was so relaxed as I read for a few hours.Remember when I first started cutting down with the main reason to quit for financial reasons.  It changed.  I would love to be saving money, but I really need the Patch and other supplemental NRT, so I'll be spending more for the next while.  But I don't mind so much anymore because I tried it the other way and I could only get down to 11/25 cigarettes a day, and it was hard to keep it that low or go lower on any given day.

    My fight has been withdrawal as opposed to intense, desperate craves.  So I can deal with that.  Someone said smoking cigarettes is like free-basing, whereas NRT is so much lower and doesn't give you the high.  I really beleive it and feel it, lol!!

    Congrats on your fight, warriors.  We can do it, stay as positive as you can but don't fake it either.  I'm only posting this now because I was struggling most of the day but feel like a win at present.  I can make it through the night, yahoo!
  26. efram, quit coach
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    22 Jan in reply to ocean
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    Wowee, Ocean! You are making it happen, one day at a time! You're getting over humps like a pro! And some really creative ideas too -- white noise machines, eucalyptus oil, opening the windows!

    Withdrawals will start to ease up gradually. it's natural to feel tired because you are healing, and it takes energy. It can help to drink lots of water in the meantime to help flush some of those yucky cigarette chemicals out of you faster.

    This is exciting! Onwards and upwards!

    Efram
  27. ocean
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    25 Jan
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    Day 12 and I just baked a chicken dish for a staff lunch at 3:30 am!  I had a dental appointment afer work yesterday and was so tired, at work as well.  I ended up asleep and in bed at 7pm!  So I naturally woke up on my own at 3:30 to cook the lunch I was supposed to make last night.  I forgot to wear a Patch yesterday but had my back up inhaler and spray, I knew I would forget it one of these days!  
  28. brieffree
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    25 Jan
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    Dear ocean

    Good Job, be prepare, congrats in 12 smoke free day's, you can do it!
  29. paul, quit coach
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    25 Jan
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    It's always great to read the various benchmarks of progress. Forgetting to put the patch on is a very good sign, as in, not thinking about it as often, and in the 2nd week. Awesome! As well, you were prepared and able to use your back-ups in the meantime.

    Goon on you Ocean, and have a wonderful, smoke free day everyone.

    Paul
  30. rodriguez
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    25 Jan
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    Wow I just found this thread.....what an inspiring and beautiful journey so far! Love the honesty and vulnerability you express. Keep up this wonderful quit! 
142 posts, 1 answered