rowan
15 posts
Registered:
14 May 2023
01 Dec 2023
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This is a letter my recovering alcoholic me wrote to my nicotine fiend me last night:
Dear Rowan,
You've survived so much in your life, and you are actively working to be better each day. You are strong, You are the strongest person your partner knows, because they've said those exact words to you and meant them.
There is a force inside you that is so powerful. It can make you do anything you put your mind to. You can do this! Even though you enjoy smoking in the moment, you know you detest everything about it. You even detest the smell from other smokers (hypocritical yes, but we are not perfect). You hate that you are bound to this addiction, but possess the strength to free yourself from this bond. To overcome the inanimate object that you are a prisoner of. In time, it will all be worth the pain and hardships you are about to experience. How do I know? We've been sober 3 years that's how.
After all is said and done, you will come out the other side stronger and you can finally learn confidence and self-esteem from your accomplishments. You won't struggle so much health wise because you'll be back in control, and with the right approach (yes the one you're taking now) and hard work, you'll have replaced smoking with healthier habits because that is the way this works. You're distraction activities will easily create new positive habits that will carry you forth in life.
You have all the tools (thanks to our sobriety some really good ones), to quit and be free, in you and all around you. You have a support system, but you can do alone if you must because you are strong and capable of anything.
Be gentle with yourself and work hard to be gentle with others. Your loved ones don't deserve the addiction monsters' wrath when it tries to viciously lash out because you're depriving it of its sustenance (nicotine). You aren't the monster, addiction is. Don't lose sight of who you are. Seek it out and put it back together. Embrace life once again.
Just like sobriety, this will get easier and with time you will reach a point where days, weeks and eventually months go by without thinking about smoking. When you do have a craving, you'll dismiss it and quickly move on. I know because we've been here before.
I know you're scared, I was too when we quit drinking. I know you detest discomfort, we all do. I know addiction is powerful and insidious and it may seem impossible in this moment, but that is the nature of addiction. Your own heart and mind are strong enough to overcome it.
Please write me back in a few weeks, I love to hear when I'm right! May you find comfort and strength in these pages. Remember how far you've come.
Sincerely and with much love,
Recovering alcoholic you.