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Been struggling

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  1. khick77
    khick77 avatar
    31 posts
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    21 Dec 2019
    31 Jan 2020
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    I been struggling for a week now everyone knows that I am trying to quit but people are smoking in the house and it is hard to do it no support around me and all I want to do is start back up. I can't talk to them because I don't know what to say I mostly stay to myself and don't talk to anyone. I been always on my phone just playing games my friend who was going to quit smoking today decided not to.
  2. justfortoday
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    01 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    Hey khick77,

    I'm so sorry about your struggles right now and feel for you. When I quit, I too had a couple of family members who smoked (not in the house though), and it can make things harder for sure. 

    I'm not sure if it's family members smoking around you or house mates, but maybe you can ask them to try to respect your decision to quit and go outside at least until you get some clean time behind you? 

    And please know that you are not alone in this. We're here to support you! And I'm super proud you've stayed away from smoking despite people around you.  Quitting Is hard and scary, and your friend isn't there yet. But you are, and you're doing brilliantly.

    Hang in, and keep checking back with us.

  3. khick77
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    01 Feb 2020
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    Thanks for the support after blowing up at my friend we are not talking right now. I wish it was easy for me to talk to people. It is easier for me not saying anything. Talking is one of the hardest things for me to do texting or emailing is easy I don't have to show any feelings in the text or email. I can think of angry things but don't have to put it down. If I do talk I can say things that I don't mean. And when I do say things that I don't want to say I can't take it back. My friend likes to talk while eating and for me it was banned cause of my brother he is a motor mouth. We had to yell over him just so we could say something so my mother and stepfather banned it. And when we went to our father's place in Nova Scotia my father and stepmother also banned talking at mealtimes we had to yell over my brother.
  4. renee, quitcoach
    renee, quitcoach avatar
    115 posts
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    16 Jul 2018
    01 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    Hello Khick77,

    I'm sorry you are having issues with your friend at this time. Friendships are hard at times. 

    I agree that it is sometimes easier to text or email as opposed to talking. Writing your feeling down is often easier than speaking them.

    I'm sure all will work out in the end and please reach out often we are here for you and are all rooting for your success in quitting smoking.

    Renee

  5. khick77
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    01 Feb 2020
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    All I wanted from my friend is you are doing great keep up with the progress and after rolling a smoke my friend could have said do you want it. I would have thought about it then said no I don't. And my friend could have said give it to me and I will smoke it for you and I would have given it to my friend. But my friend blown up at me and then I blown up back. It's hard when I can't say go outside to smoke where it is not my place it is my friends place. So much stress I am under trying to find my own place. And trying to get some help coming up with all the money to pay rent. Getting food for us and smokes for my friend and paying bills I just want some help doing it all.i just don't know why my friend doesn't see it 
  6. khick77
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    01 Feb 2020
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    Here is an update my friend has stopped smoking today and I didn't want to smoke today he told his daughter that she has to smoke outside. She is a little disappointed that she can't smoke in the house anymore but she can smoke in her place if she wants to smoke 
  7. khick77
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    02 Feb 2020
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    I am doing good 8 days in. Not feeling great not sure if it is my allergies or I have a cold with the patch on my allergy pills are not helping me it goes right to the patch to stop my skin from itching so I will have to wait it out until my 12 weeks are up then try my allergy pills again 
  8. renee, quitcoach
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    115 posts
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    02 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    Hello khick77,

    I'm glad that you are 8 days in! Congratulations!

    I'm sorry to hear that you are not feeling great. It could be your allergies or it may also be withdrawals. Withdrawals are symptoms like: sneezing. coughing, itchiness, not feeling well etc. The good thing about withdrawals is that it means you are getting healthy and free from nicotine.  It usually starts a few hours after you quit smoking and can last about a week or so. 

    It's nice to hear your friend has also quit so hopefully you can support each other. It seems like you have worked things out with your friend.

    Keep up the good work!


  9. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    My friend went to the hospital yesterday the doctor thinks that he has verago I wish that we could get answers and then we can get something done to help him get better 
  10. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    My friend said that the medicine for verago didn't help so stressed out that I want to have a smoke. I wish that I know what is wrong with my friend. I am trying so hard not to slip. I can't take my mind off what if it is serious and I do have a smoke. In 5 minutes he is going for another scan. 
  11. atp
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    khick77,

    Do you mean vertigo - the ear balance issue? 

    I get how stress can trigger you to want to smoke. Been there done that over many years. Nothing ever changed or improved by my having a smoke. All it did was take me away from being there to support the person I was there for. 

    Instead of being selfish and going out for a smoke, why not dedicate your time to your friend? 
  12. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    I am not at the hospital and not knowing is stressing me more. If I was there I would know and texting is not giving me anything to. I wish that I was there then I would know what is going on. And sorry spelling is not my greatest subject 
  13. atp
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    You are projecting your worry for your friend onto your quit as a justification for smoking. Stop that!

    I would feel like crap If I were in your friend's shoes and knew what you are struggling with right now. Be brave and be there for your friend. Put your needs second. That is kind of what quitting is about - putting the addicts needs second. 

    You got this. 
  14. efram, quit coach
    efram, quit coach avatar
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    Hi khick77,

    No worries about spelling! It's not needed to successfully quit smoking, and none of us are perfect after all!

    I hope your friend is ok, too. This is a big test for you, and I can tell that you're being a good friend because of how concerned you are.

    Because you're feeling stressed, this could be a good time to find some relaxing things to do. For example, you could try taking some deep breaths, going for a walk, or, if you're home, laying down for a bit and listening to some soothing music.

    Like ATP mentioned, smoking didn't actually help anything to get better; it's just an old habit that you're breaking now, each and every day. Part of learning how to be a non-smoker for you will include learning other ways to cope with stress.

    I think if you're able to get through today without slipping you're going to feel even stronger!

    Hope this helps,
    Efram
  15. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    It helps a bit and writing what is going on is helping me. I just want to know if he is ok or not 
  16. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    Being laid off work is a struggle. At least if I was working I could keep my mind off everything and look at my text at breaks. Then get home from work and relax in the tub then go to bed and would know that my friend is good. In April I will be saying here we come 71.50 hours.
  17. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    My friend said that he had a stroke and really want a smoke now. My head is killing me fighting the war on not having one. I don't know what to do now.
  18. efram, quit coach
    efram, quit coach avatar
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    This has been a rough day for you and your friend!

    We know that smoking can increase your friend's chances of having another stroke.

    We also know that when friends see their friends not smoking, it usually helps them to stay strong as well.

    So, though this is very hard, I think the BEST thing for you to do right now is to continue on with being smoke-free, like you've been doing for the past 8 days.

    If you'd like to call a Quit Coach to talk about how you're feeling, that might help. And if you have something else to use along with your patch, this could be helpful as well (like nicotine gum or lozenges, for example).

    Stay strong,
    Efram
  19. efram, quit coach
    efram, quit coach avatar
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to efram, quit coach
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    P.S.: Sometimes it can help to go spend time in a place where you'd never even think of smoking, like a library or shopping mall … the cravings may go away faster.

    And, if you haven't tried the 4Ds yet:

    Delay,
    Distract,
    Deep breathing,
    Drinking water.
  20. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    I have all day and where he is in the hospital and I am not there with him it is hard to stay strong right now. I don't know if he is going to be coming back I do know that he is going to be staying in the hospital for a few days until the doctors are sure he will not have another stroke 
  21. efram, quit coach
    efram, quit coach avatar
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    I know that you've been through challenges in the past; we all have. I know that you're a strong person, because I know that over the past 8 days there have been plenty of temptations and cravings that you made it through successfully. And I know that your reasons for quitting are strong, or you wouldn't be here talking about this with us today, so concerned about having a setback.

    What are some things you can tell yourself to keep yourself strong today?
  22. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    My friend is strong. He serviced 2 heart attacks. He will get throw this. He is at the hospital and doctors are taking care of him. Here is something funny he drove himself to the hospital yesterday. I know that it is not a laughing matter but the doctors and nurses were surprised that he did it while having the stroke. Not his first time driving to the hospital while sick. Last year we both had the h1n1 flu he drove me back to where I was living at then drove himself to the hospital sick as a dog. 
  23. efram, quit coach
    efram, quit coach avatar
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    His strength is an inspiration! You can be strong just like him. You ARE strong, just like him.

  24. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    I know that now. I am stress eating so I don't have a smoke. 
  25. atp
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to khick77
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    Khick,

    The motivation for me to quit was seeing my younger son smoking. I made a bet with him that if I quit he would too. Well, we both quit. It took that to drive me. 

    So, tell you friend you quit smoking and are making healthy changes and bet him to do the same as well. You both can help and motivate each other. 

    Turn this into a positive. That is how I dealt with my quit. I looked for what I was gaining. 
  26. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020
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    I know that now. I am stress eating so I don't have a smoke. 
  27. khick77
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    03 Feb 2020 in reply to atp
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    He is quitting smoking to he is 3 days in. I think what happened yesterday he put the patch on the same arm as he did the first day and it was too much for that one arm.
  28. khick77
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    21 Dec 2019
    07 Feb 2020
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    I am hoping that my friend will be coming home from the hospital soon. To take the bordem away I cleaned up the house clean the sinks tub toilet and the floors. Now going to cook chicken put garlic and Montreal spice on it cause he doesn't have any shake & bake just trying different things to cook then going to have fries with the chicken. Garlic is great to bring down blood pressure and help with cold and maybe even help with blood clots in the vains. 
  29. khick77
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    08 Feb 2020
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    Here is an update on my friend if he does really get on the weekend he will be coming home Monday. I am so happy about it. His daughter has taken the last of the smokes today and have no disair or depressed about it I think the rough part is over now. I don't miss the smokes I think if I did I would say no. Today is my second week of being smoke free and my friend is week today he said that he doesn't want them to I am so happy about it. If I do really need one my inhalers will be in my hand. When I say inhalers I mean my nicotine inhaler and my asthma inhalers to.
  30. brieffree
    brieffree avatar
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    10 Feb 2020
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    Hi khick77

    I can imagen how hard is been the Place you are to keep our Quit!

    First, congrats in your wish to quit for good

    Sometimes, we need to make a choice to change our future for another smoke free!

    No one is pushing you to stay there!

    Good Luck in your quit!
40 posts, 0 answered